and it's crazy to see my name 'in print' and read about this adventure that....I get to be a part of?! For real? This is way more than I could have asked for, this is turning into something I didn't even think could exist in my life.
I feel so bold as to say that something huge is shifting in my life and this next year (as I sit here on the eve of 2012) is going to be a big year for me. They say life goes through cycles of change in 7 year intervals. So by those calculations I'm in the last 2 years of finishing one cycle. This particular stage (ages 21-28) is a process of enlargement and refinement with insight, intuition, judgement & understanding at the forefront with the sparks of interest awakened in the last cycle being more defined.
There's this sense I'm getting again that I had when I first met Jaime a few months back, with the first email I'd received from him. Our relationship hadn't yet been established but already I knew in my body, physically I had something bigger going on inside me that I couldn't articulate, but man was it strong! I remember trying to convey to him what was going on, but I just couldn't. I had to wait a few days before replying to him so that I could physically sit with these feelings and take note of what I was going through.
On some level it felt like the nerves you get when you're about to do something that totally terrifies you, that deep-in-your-core visceral shift, and on some level it felt like my whole body wanted to jump forward, leaping from my feet, from my core, from my arms, and say 'yes! yes yes yes!'
I have that feeling all over again when I think about the year ahead, about the choices I'm making daily, about the opportunities that are throwing themselves at me. I'm terrified, and I'm so ridiculously willing and nodding like a fool "yes! yes yes yes!" to what feels right in my body. Terrifyingly so. What I'm about to embark on is unlike anything I've done in my life thus far and if I truly want to go far with this....I'll only reach the stars if I dare try! ;)
Reminds me of a quote I saw in a magazine the other day ......which I'm writing from memory, so I apologize if it's incomplete, and I can't remember who quoted it either, but it goes something like this:
Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand .....and melting like a snowflake.
After a New Years Eve snowshoe in the North Shore mountains, this feels fitting, beautiful. Stars and snowflakes, yes please!
Each new year is a special time to focus your intentions, to reflect on the past year's successes and failures, to re-energize during a season that is reserved for being quiet, yin-like, still, introspective....all these attributes of the long dark winter season, that is interjected by this celebration of newness, of vision and determination to uphold ourselves and grow to our greatest potential! To harness this sparkling star and use it before it melts in our hands.
I can not wait to live this dreamlife, I am a grateful girl indeed.
To new beginnings, to following our dreams, and to saying YES! to LIFE.
yessssssssss!!!!!!!!
Much love, see you in 2012!
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